


What Keeps Me Up At Night

by TheMoodyAngel



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Aruba - Freeform, Death, Doomworld, F/M, Hints of FoxFire, Hurt, Season Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMoodyAngel/pseuds/TheMoodyAngel
Summary: There's a reason that you're not supposed to interfere with events you participated in. Sara does what is necessary in order to preserve the timeline, but it will be added to the list of things that keep her awake in the dark.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So about tonight's season finale, I keep reading that Phil Klemmer (one of the shows creators) said, "There will be so many deaths! It's just nothing but death. It's a wall-to-wall carnage." Mark Guggenheim (another creator) also said on Twitter, "We're killing some Legends."
> 
> So basically i'm freaking out and it caused a panic attack last night and then after I calmed down this idea popped into my head. WARNING: lots and lots of angst. And of course some CaptainCanary because I can't seem to write anything else.
> 
> NOTE: story starts from the POV of present-day/Doomworld Sara
> 
> NOTE: I know i'm posting this after the finale has already aired, I couldn't write any faster. I have not seen the finale yet so no spoilers until tomorrow plz.

Both teams of Legends waited on the edge of the field while Rip attempted to create a cease fire.  Sara glanced around and saw a distortion several feet away, it appeared as if that area of ground and air was twisting. It was gone within seconds but she recognized it as what Rip had described as time collapsing in on itself – and she knew it would only get worse as things progressed. It was the consequence of interacting with their own timeline.

Sara glanced at her past self, still dressed in that terrible nurse’s dress. She had an idea, but she could only trust herself.

“Hey, you, uh, self.” She said awkwardly. It was really weird talking to her past self.

“Seriously? That’s how we’re doing this?” Her past self looked at her skeptically.

“Nevermind just – can I talk to you for a minute?” Both Ray’s opened their mouths. “Alone, please.” She said before they could be interrupted.

Her other self nodded and they walked several feet away.

“What is it? I know how to read my own face and all I can see on yours is dread.” Sara took a deep breath. Knowing herself, she would reject her own words, but there was no other choice.

“Time is collapsing in on itself.”

“Yeah, I noticed. The ripples are showing up everywhere. But there’s not really anything we can do.”

“Wrong.” Sara replied flatly. “There is one thing, but I need you to do it yourself and trust me; you are not going to like it.” Her other self stared at her expressionlessly.

Sara took a deep breath and then quickly explained her plan. It was a surreal feeling to watch her own face warp into one of horror.

“No, no. you cannot ask me to do that.”

“We don’t have a choice.” She snapped. “It’s this or all of time and space folds in on itself before we have a chance to beat the legion and save the spear.”

“You mean _I_ don’t have a choice.”

Silence.

“Yeah, you don’t have a choice.” Sara stared at her own face, grief filling her eyes. She knew her own probably looked the same.

“Fine. I’ll do it.” Her past self turned to head back to their teams.

“If it helps,” she called out. Her other self turned around to look at her.

“What?” she sighed.

“There is one bit of hope I can give you.”

“Yeah, and what the hell would that be?”

 

* * *

 

Captain Cold and Darhk had just showed up. Nick was clutching the vial of blood. But before Sara could tell Mick to hand her the spear, a huge ripple caused the ground to shake under them, knocking everyone off their feet. Sara was the first to regain her footing thanks to her league training, and as she did she locked eyes with her future self, who nodded.

It was time.

Most everyone was still getting to their feet, so Sara moved as quickly as possible. She reached to the holster under her dress, grabbed the gun there, aimed, and shot. Six times. She felt her heart wrench in her chest and tear itself into pieces every time a shot sounded. Everyone’s eyes flew towards the bodies hitting the dirt in rapid succession as the last shot echoed and faded away.

Nate. Martin. Ray. Jax. Rip. Mick.

But Sara paused at her last target. Her finger froze and her breath caught. Killing her friends was one thing. They were still standing behind her and that was her only consolation as she killed each of their future selves. But shooting herself in the head was a completely different situation.

“Do it.” She stared into her own eyes, unblinking. She opened her mouth but no words came out.

“Remember what I said?” Her future self continued. Sara could only nod. “Then SHOOT!”

BANG!!!

 

* * *

 

 

_“Fine. I’ll do it.” Sara turned around, still very much pissed at her future self for making her do this._

_“If it helps,” she heard her own voice call out. She stopped in her tracks and turned back around._

_“What?” she sighed._

_“There is one bit of hope I can give you.”_

_“Yeah, and what the hell would that be?” She snapped._

_“If you manage to keep the spear out of the Legion’s hands, then these versions of you will never have existed. Doomworld will never be created, Amaya will never die, and we will never have to come back to this time to help you.”_

_“Won’t that create a paradox?” She asked skeptically._

_“That’s a risk you have to take.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Sara watched her own body fall to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut. She slowly lowered the gun and stared at her own empty eyes. Blood trickled between them through the hole in her forehead.

Her team stood behind her but were to stunned to say anything. Only Rip’s expression was one of grim understanding instead of the shock and horror that painted the faces of those around them. Even Darhk was stunned.

“ Funny,” the slow drawl broke the silence. “I didn’t have you pegged as the killer type.” Sara slowly raised her head to look at the crook standing on the hill in front of her.

“It’s one of the many things I’ve done, that’ll keep me up at night.” the words were pulled from some place deep in her memory that she had tried to forget. A conversation that had been too painful to remember not long after it happened. They were words that only she, and a dead man had heard.

She didn’t expect the crook’s eyes to twitch with recognition. Nor did she expect him to flinch and drop his gun, or drop to his knees groaning.

“What’s going on?” Mick directed his words at Darhk who stood looking at Captain Cold like a deer in the headlights.

“Crap.” He muttered. He raised his hand to the kneeling man.

“Hey!” Sara shouted. Darhk whirled around to see her, Mick, and Rip running towards him. And he decided having Captain Cold as an ally wasn’t worth his own life, so he turned tail and ran across the field, yelling into his comm for the speedster to come get him.

Sara made to go after him but Rip stopped her.

“Sara! Leave him. We have more important things that need our attention.” Sara whirled around to snap at Rip, she was the captain, not him. But the words died in her throat when she saw Snart. He was still kneeling, clutching his head, but there was a faint ice-blue glow around him. Rip looked her in the eyes.

“We have to get him back to the ship.”

Mick pulled one of the crooks arms around his shoulders just as the lankier man passed out and began heading in the direction of the timeship.

“Sara, go with him, I’ll collect the rest of the crew.” She didn’t argue, just turned and made her way after Mick.

 

* * *

 

 

In the medbay, Mick dumped Snart on the chair and slapped an IV bracelet on him.

“Gideon? Scan him will ya?” The arsonist grumbled. Then he stepped back to stand next to Sara against the opposite wall. Silence filled the room as the blue light from the ceiling moved back and forth over the unconscious man.

“Why?” Sara turned her head to look at the owner of the gruff voice. “Why did you kill them all?”

The assassin sighed. She knew this would be the same question from all of her crew; she better get used to answering it.

“It was the future me’s idea. By interacting with us, their past selves, our future selves had caused time to start folding in on itself. It was her idea. The reasoning being that since two sets of us was what caused the trouble, eliminating one set would solve the problem.”

“So you killed our future selves.”

“. . . Yeah. But if that future doesn’t happen, then we won’t die.”

“I hope you’re right blondie.” Sara opening her mouth to respond, but the voice of the ship’s AI prevented her from responding.

“It seems that Mr. Snart’s condition is the result of a large portion of his memory becoming unlocked all at once. The flood of seemingly new information caused his brain to ‘go into overdrive’ as you might say. I have prescribed a mild sedative, which has taken effect and-“

“Wait, hold on a second.” Sara interrupted. “What do you mean his memories are unlocked?”

“Exactly what I said Miss Lance.” The AI seemed annoyed that she had been interrupted. “All of Mr. Snart’s memories from early 2015 to the explosion at the Oculus appear to have been suppressed by the science that Damien Darhk claims to be ‘magic’. It seems that something triggered the release of these memories which caused an overload of nerve signals in Mr. Snart’s brain.”

“Snart died at the Oculus.” Mick growled.

“It appears not Mr. Rory. The Mr. Snart in front of you is the same age as the one that blew up the Oculus. In addition, his hand is a reconstruction by myself.”

“So it really is him.” Sara and Mick turned to see Rip standing in the doorway. “I suspected, since Thawne made the Vanishing Point his base, but I didn’t want to give false hope.”

“So, it’s really him?” Sara was unable to keep the corners of her lips from turning upward.

“Last time I checked I was me.” All three Legends turned their heads to look at the man propping himself up on the medical bed. The crook looked his partner directly in the eye. “I’m sorry Mick.”

“You’re an ass.” The arsonist replied as he moved over to stand by his friend. Sara made a move to follow but rip put out a hand.

“Sara, a word please.” They both moved into the hall.

“I spoke to the rest of the team. I explained why you did what you did.”

“I – “

“I know why you did it, and honestly, if you hadn’t none of us might be here now. One more ripple like that last one would have probably been the end. So thank you. I know what you did was beyond hard. But please don’t blame yourself for anything. we are all alive and time is intact because of you. We have the spear, and the blood, and as a bonus we have Mr. Snart back.”

“Alright.” Sara whispered. Rip nodded and began walking back to the bridge. He knew he couldn’t stop Sara from blaming herself, she had to forgive herself on her own terms; but he couldn’t not try at all.

Sara watched him walk away and then turned back to the medbay. Mick was just headed out, muttering something under his breath about ‘kissing that damn woman right now’. Sara let him go by and then slowly moved towards the man sliding off the medical bed.

“Soo, good to see Mick’s still his same old lovable self after flying around with you losers for almost a year.” Sara cracked a smile. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed that voice.

“Yeah,” she laughed, “if possible, he’s even grumpier than when we started this whole thing.” Leonard stared at her.

“What?”

“There’s something I want to do, before another disaster strikes and I have to save Mick’s ass again.” She looked at him curiously.

“And what exactly –“ she didn’t get to finish her sentence as the crook leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

The kiss at the Oculus had been full of pain and longing, sadness for the things that would never have a chance to happen or evolve. This one was the complete opposite. It was filled with hope for the future and a promise that neither of them would let this chance slip past them again.

When they finally broke apart Sara opened her eyes to meet Leonard’s icy blue ones.

“So, am I one hell of a thief or not?” Sara’s lips turned upward in one of the biggest smiles that had lit her face in a long time.

“I think yes.” And then she stole a kiss of her own from the crook.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, please leave comments, they give me life.


End file.
